My World
by Anora-the-Dreamer
Summary: Inuyasha characters wander around in the worlds that exist only in their minds. Thirteen Chapters. MirSan InuKag SesshKag
1. Sanctuary

**Sanctuary**

**Summary: **Inuyasha characters wander around in the worlds that exist only in their minds. Thirteen Chapters. MirSan InuKag SesshKag

A/N- Here's how things are: Every chapter is going to be kind of cryptic, but written as though someone is taking a walk through their own head. Like it'll talk about them taking a left, and moving upward and stuff. Also, to make sure you keep reading, I'm not going to tell you who is wandering in that chapter. It's supposed to make it all cool and mysterious, but it might turn out being annoying. Plus I think it's going to be pretty obvious. Sorry if it does.

This is sorta a ficlet collection. Just sorta.

Once again, being the brilliant person that I am (Just remember you can't hear me. That comment is dripping with sarcasm), I started another fic I can't possibly update on time. Sorry that it is you who have to suffer due to my stupidity. Well, enjoy!

A quiet moment at last. The bickering has finally quieted the demon attacks have finally stopped. I have blood all over me, but I'm just too stiff to get up and bathe, especially if it meant having to watch my back every step I took. I just need to think for a little while...I just need to think...

At last I enter a place, something different than this earth could ever provide. It's quiet and loud, peaceful and chaotic, dark and glistening. I start down a path, it's still and lonely. It doesn't' have to be so lonesome, or maybe it does. If I wasn't secluded things could never work out.

I keep them away; I never let them get near me until it's too late. One day that's going to cause my death, I think. That should upset me, but death is just a part of life, or that's what everyone tells me.

I look up from the road, leaves and sakura petals fly through the air, they catch in my hair, and stick to my skin. _Finally. Some peace and quiet. _

Or so I think. Things are never truly peaceful here, I try to catch a bit of rest and then the rain starts to fall. The water thunders on to the ground and the path turns to mud, and the air becomes thick with fog. _Damn. Not this again._

I see that monster of a thing coming. Its roar thunders through the air, tears down trees, the ground splits around me...Once again the thing bites, jaws clamping on to my flesh which becomes mysteriously tender in its presence. It twists, tearing away a part of me, and I scream...scream...scream. The sound tears through the air and breaks the fog away, the rain becomes a storm.

The storm becomes salty, it runs into my eyes, hurts like hell but there's no sound left in me.

_"I'm so so sorry..."_

I could banish the monster myself, it wouldn't be hard. But something within let's it live on, it will never truly die. While the monster only bites and tears at me, those are wounds that will heal, even though scars will always taint my skin. Even though few can see them...

The feelings that would be created by his death would destroy me. Not even leaving a shell behind.

_"Hush...hush. It isn't your fault. You never meant to hurt anyone. I know you."_

Gleaming tears, gleaming tears, I want to go away.

I run the other way, deep into the woods. I want to leave these memories; I visit them in my sleep. I want to visit a happier time.

I slow down, lungs stinging and breathe short. I always try to avoid that place, always, I mean always. Somehow, if I don't find it, it finds me. Damned be the ways of the mortal mind.

Finally, I'm here. There's something bright and warm that flickers. My life and fire. The smell coming off of the food is excellent. I sit down and chomp on a fish, the ground comfortably firm beneath me.

I look up at each of my companions, and in each of them see the spirit of a friend. I sigh and make myself more comfortable. This is where I should be. This is, without a doubt, where I belong.

"Oi! Time to go!" My eyes snap open and I nod. For a little while, I have a small smile on my face.


	2. Empty

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**A/N- Well, I'm really stunned I updated this quickly. These are a lot of fun to write! Many thanks to my lone reviewer, Sora Chi.

**Empty**

Want to know where I go when no one tells me what to do? I go nowhere.

I'm standing in the middle of this land, if you can really call it that. There's nothing here. Nothing for me, nothing for anyone else. There should be. I know that. But...there just isn't.

I guess there is something there, because next I sit down. I need the rest, my body and mind are bending, there's only so much of that they'll take before they break. I'm not even the one who is doing it.

Something...there must be something.

I dig my fingers into the earth beneath me, ha! So there is something in here! I feel it beneath me. This place holds many secrets, secrets it won't tell me. It can't, maybe but it won't. It just spits out random words at me...

_Memory..._

Normal people have it. I should get it. The secrets, where could they be? There's no box to hide them in, perhaps they're invisible?

_"Come to me"_

I dig my fingers deeper, and reach down. The only place I haven't looked.

_"You can't refuse me."_

Digging at this is like digging in iron, it won't give. Why not? This place is mine; it ought to do what I tell it to.

_Not yours anymore._

Then whose is it? And why did they take what is rightfully mine? Meanie.

At last, I take out the soil, 'tis hard and dry. Another handful, and another, and another...

I hit something; it's not warm, but not really cold either. Dig, dig, dig, my fingers hurt and my mind bends a little more, but it's worth it, if I can find it.

I finally have chipped away enough soil to get a good look at it. I feel my eyes grow wide as I look down at my own face.

Am I dead? That can't be. This can't be where I go when I die; I've gone here when I've been alive... Have I been dead all this time? Why did no one tell me?

No...No...Somewhere in this place is what someone looks like when they're dead and this isn't it.

He, erm, me, uh, I'm still breathing. I feel my shoulders relax. Not dead, more like asleep.

I bend down towards him, and nudge him.

_Wake up!_

I jump away; too, it would be quite a jolt to wake up to your own face. He doesn't move. I nudge him harder and harder, and scream at him. Not one flicker.

So. That's what I've got. Soil, myself and another me that won't wake up.

But things won't always be like this. Oh, no. One day I shall wake up he who has the answers. One day this wasteland shall be full and bustling. One day, and one day soon.

The final question, is this place my heart or my head?


	3. Wanderer

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**My World**

**Chapter Three: Wanderer**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Inuyasha. This is really a waste of time.

No, I didn't die but am still very busy. Sorry this chappies is short. . Thank you Majakins, and I'll try to make it more obvious CrazyPoet. As previously stated, all will be revealed in chapter thirteen.

_I just want a place to lose myself...But what if I'm lost forever?_

Crack. Thunder lunges across the sky, destroying its target, an unsuspecting and innocent-looking tree, with an unmatched precision.

Sometimes it's lonely here. The thoughts, tricky little things spin round me like webs. It won't be long before the web becomes too thick to tear through.

Sometimes the sun is shining, and pretty glistening raindrops wash away the mud from leaves, leaving little sparkling dots on my face.

There nothing like these raindrops, that pierce like little daggers.

_This is how it has to be._

On the outside its sunshine, always. I have but one hope, and it in itself is quickly fading. Dying, that hope is, quicker even than me.

Sometimes the sunshine burns my eyes, but then, as I was always told you're never to look straight at the sun. Could make you blind.

In here the weather is harsh and unpredictable. Out there everything is.

I ignore the cracks and booms. I can't want to be here, this is where the nightmares live. If I don't hurry one might catch me.

Just never let the mask of sunshine fade, if I did...No good could possibly come of it.  
The world has better things to do than worry about me.

No one would ever suspect that I go here of all places. They probably think I go to a glistening world of flowers and candies, little milk rivers.

They're very very wrong.

It's better like this, to lurk. I don't want to hurt anyone.

I keep trying to go to the shadows, just surrender myself to them, but they always haul me out. I could fight a lot harder, you know. Keep them farther.

The place I have reached is entirely unremarkable, neither unpleasant nor happy, neither the monster nor the savior.

I have to stay here for now. Only time will tell whether I will be allowed happiness, or death. Not me. Time. Have to remember that.

_Every time I try to find a home within the darkness someone comes and sets me free. _

If only for a moment.


	4. Grim

**My World**

**by River-Spirit-Of-Anora**

**Chapter Four: Grim**

Yeah, it's been a while, sorry. I'm trying to get back on schedule.

The wind churns slowly, rising mightily around me, as though it attempts to seize me and carry me someplace, far away. Or perhaps it means to tear this body to pieces.

Foolish thing, I shan't be moved, not shall I be torn. My body is falling apart; my mind has the deepest of scars, and memories that are forever out of my grasp. My soul, for it is indeed mine, it what lives on, strong and protected, though by another.

My hair is snapped out viciously around m head, to whirl around and snap me in the face. Abyssal hole, dug deep all around me. I wish for nothing more than to go sleep in the darkness. It has been many moons since I slept and I grow weary to the bone. Yet, I cannot die. Something within me balks at the idea, though I have no fear of death, yet it will not claim me.

I refuse to present myself before it. Damndable spirit, why will you not go?

Sweet sunshine, it burns me. Cool water, it drowns me. Tall trees, they rip this skin of mine.

I am alone, traipsing through the snow. It defies me, refuses to allow me to pass, yet when I lay still, hoping that through this horrid cold some lethal disease will come forth and claim me.

Alas, the wind tugs to my feet and orders me on. I try to stop each time to be urged on by some force that I know naught about.

Anger, I am angry at this world for daring to seem so cheerful when my blood is seeping out of my hearts, I can feel it running down my back. Oh, dear, I have likely stained my robe. I'll have to wash it.

The pool of blood grows ever larger, it surrounds me. Surely I have lost enough life to finally die. Alas, I keep walking leaving bloody footprints in my wake.

They stand their, giggling and holding my hand. For a moment I am tempted to snatch my handout of her grasp, but she and her fellows are young. This horrid world is yet to take its toll on them, they should be happy now, never knowing, never seeing as the joys of childhood slip through their fingers. They squeeze their hands later, they'll hold it to their heart, but the fight is futile.

For one day, when you aren't looking, it will slip away from you, leaving you stunned as you gaze at empty hands.

The darkness takes me, and I fall, but I still have things to go, places to go, lies to tell, and hearts to shatter. This accursed shell that walks with me within it still won't break.

Still, there is fury within me that refuses to leave. Why won't you go? Peace is a long-forgotten dream, but it is enthralling, reeking of the wonder of something that one knows little of. Peace would be lovely, but perhaps we could have it? This hell I wander in, I want to leave now.

I need to get out, to escape, to run. These brittle legs might break, but this heart that is broken keeps beating.

Salt streaks down my face, it scars my skin, routed channels that are all over my face. I reach up and run my fingers down the scar, it is deep and curved, I pressed into it a little harder, and don't even flinch as the pain explodes through me.

My eyes snap open, and there is an arrow stuck in my shoulder. So they heave figured it out, I leap down from my perch and begin walking.

As an afterthought, I look down to my hands. They are wet, with blood and tears.


	5. Barren

What can you say, to a life been snatched away? Come back, you call, you croon, you weep. Cry and then die, you too, my friend. Your corpse will rot until the day breaks and the creatures and worms come to feast. Feast until the sunset, beasts, feast until it's gone.

You didn't really mean it, when you said the end of time. You've gone somewhere I can't, I won't, I live. Call me oath-breaker, call me doomed. Sing this name of mine to the hell-demons, let them have my soul. I surely do not want it.

Dead? Don't be stupid. Those trees aren't dead. What's that you say? Black, twisted and leafless, but they are not dead. They have merely gone on to a better life, a more perfect one. Their leaves and their chestnut brown bark was holding them to this place. They don't belong here, they're meant to be elsewhere. Somewhere worse. Kami knows they deserve it.

Rancid? Aren't you an idiot. That's not how it smells, not at all. You can't appreciate the reek of death and the richness of blood. That's your fault, how full of faults you are. Deep within you, deep within your heart, you say. Nonsense, utter nonsense, I see all of you. I never look into your mind at all. Your heart is what you wear proudly on your sleeve.

Stop those stupid tears of yours. Barren? This place is no such thing. Those woods over there? You see them? They teem with greed and want, a desire from swift and methodical revenge. Their dirt, their ragged plants..Only blood seems to be able to make them grow.

Odd, is it not?

The hellish and the sweet, the wild and the tame, they live and die for me. They love and kill for me. They plant and harvest for me. Oh, you claim they do such things as it is the only way they know? Are you not the most astoundingly stupid thing I have ever come in contact with? The correct answer is yet, you shall say it unless you wish for your innards to be my dessert.

I cut out my heart long time passing, the flowers died with me. But still I stand, and still I sway. Unstable? Never. Merciless? Always. You learn as you live, if you learn you are allowed to live longer than most. Understood? You always were slow at your lessons.

I haven't such a right, that is what you say. Wrong, dearie, I have all the right in the world. Anyone can and ought to get what they desire the most. I am merely strong enough to go through with it.

I, father to the void and the wind, mother to the fury, shall give them so they grow forevermore. Always trapped within, from now until forever. They're a bit like me, if you think about it.

But you never will.


	6. Child

**My World**

**Chapter Six**

**Child**

Well, no one is updating. At all. So I'm attempting to start a trend.

_Mother lays down to sleep, seeming to radiate life. Joy._

Innocence.

It's an odd word, full of so many things, and implications, the more you think about it the less it seems to mean. It's like a candy bar, nearly, the deeper you get the more it changes.

No matter what, everyone claims that children are innocent. That they haven't a care in the world. They only frolic about and play.

_Father moves about, gentle-like, as not to rouse Mom. Love._

Finally, they're right. That's all I tend to do, I play at warrior but suddenly it's no longer a game.

Oftentimes it my place to get away, to not have to deal with the harsh light of reality.

_The den itself is cramped and smells of so many things, from food, to mates, to leaves, and back to rain... Inhale deeply, a cacophony of scents, just the right mix to put even the most troublesome kit right to sleep. Comfy._

But it isn't full of true warmth, only happy memories.

Being surrounded by something delightful.

The comfort of a mother's hug after a long cry.

The guidance of a father as they show you the ways of life.

Sometimes, if I just think hard enough and if I will it, I come here before I sleep.

Other times you have to be happy with the other warmth you can get, the fake kind tainted by fear. Then, I am denied of that often too.

Little ones ought not go to think. Ought not worry. Ought not cry for any sort of good reason.

In the perfect world, they allow mother and father to take care of them--to feed them, to love them, comfort them, and, most importantly of all, to teach them.

Suddenly life isn't nearly as clear-cut when you have to figure out some things on your

lonesome.

_"Come here, little one." Mother calls, not the harsh sounds that indicate I should slink forth and do my best to appear darling and innocent. Just a sweet murmur and I leap without a second thought into her arms. Safe._

Not that I dare feel sorry for myself, I do know how close I came to death. Kits don't last long without mothers. I am no exception.

_She strokes me gently, little cooing words slowly whirl together into one long lullaby. "Good night." _

_Warmth._

_The last thing I hear before my so troubled world goes dark and I enter the strange land of dreams._

"Inuyasha!" The name came from her lips in a hiss. "Be quiet!"

He glared shamelessly at the kit cradled to her body, but softened slightly at the way they looked together. "Feh."

_"Slumber on, little dreamer."_


End file.
